College Days

College...Most of my friends went to college and became part of sororities or fraternities.  Not me.  I went to a performing arts college.  I actually had a ballet class at 8:00am.  8:00am?????  Are you kidding me?Who in their right mind can function at 8:00am, let alone plie...jete...and work your ass off.  Well, I did.  Let's just say that this is what I needed to stay focused.  I sure wasn't going to part the night before an 8:00am Ballet class. 
These girls in my class were amazing.  I was accepted in the program more from my essay in explaining the passion i had for the arts other then my audition (which did not go so well).  I grew up taking 1 ballet class a week and then in high school I took Jazz.  It wasn't until senior year in High School that I even attempted tap. these other girls in came from dancing everyday.  Basically, I had a lot of catching up to do, and many hours of hard work and dedication ahead of me. I was even told that I would be re-evaluated at the end of my first year.  I had to step it up or I would no longer be able to stay at the University. It was a challenge, but I thrived on challenges.  I needed to prove to the instructors that I could succeed in this Field, but mostly I had to prove it to my self.
"Don't try to be better then everyone else...be better then yourself"  This was a quote that Mikail Baryshnikov said and I still say this to myself.

Big Model?

I remember being offered a job modeling for a "Huge Grande Opening"...hor'de'vors, champagne, the press...blah, blah, blah.  Well, I was so excited.  I even told friends that I had this fabulous gig.  Well, when I arrived they gave me a beautiful wedding gown and said, "Now you need to pick a pose and freeze it for an hour, then you can pick a new pose for the following hour"...What?  "Am I a human manequin?" I asked. "Yes, just make sure you don't move" Well, there I stood in a window, in front of the store, and watched my friends drive by waving and laughing.  It took everything in me not to laugh.

Look at me!!

Auditioning is such a rush.  Feelings of excitement, anxiousness, and the feeling that you may puke.  Believe it or not, I loved it.  The process was interesting because while you are dancing your ass off, the choreographer or casting director could be taking a sip of coffee, or they could be writing notes from the dancers that auditioned prior. Meanwhile, missing your audition of a lifetime.

At times this really frustrated me, but it also made it quite challenging. What can I do to stand out? What can I do where they will say..."She's hired."  Then, there where times that I knew they would remember me, but for the wrong reasons.  Did you ever watch the GONG SHOW?  Sometimes I felt I could hear the big GONGGGGGGG  ringing in my ears, or waiting to see that big hook pull me out of the audition.

I remember auditioning for a cruise line and after a few cuts, it was time to sing.  This was always my favorite part because a lot of dancers never would sing.  You would hear them sing a rendition of "Happy Birthday," which by the way is a vocally hard song to sing. My confidence on this part of the audition rocked...until I started to sing the song, "Before the Parade Basses By"  a WHOLE OCTAVE HIGHER!!!   OMG!!!    Then I did something that you are not suppose to do.  I asked if I could start over.  They did allow this.  My heart was pounding and I could taste the humiliation as a huge lump in my throat Then, I sang completely full out while...MARCHING???????   Really??  MARCHING?????...Why couldn't I stop marching?  The more I would belt out the song, the more and harder I would march. I felt as though I was having an out of body experience, watching some crazy girl trying to get a job.  After the accompaniment stopped, I stood there telling the panel that "I have no idea why I was marching....my feet took over...sorry, I am quite embarrassed"  They all laughed with me and at me.

When I grow up...

As far as I can remember, I was singing and dancing.  Performing was in my blood...in every step I took...in every breath.